Misunderstood Dead Metaphor

Concept: A dead metaphor (or nearly dead metaphor) that is so poorly understood that people say it wrong (usually a small phonetic/phonological change) to help it make sense in their cognitive-linguistic domains. Two examples follow. 

• The IT Crowd, Season 4, Episode 6, "Reynholm vs. Reynholm"
• http://video.yandex.ru/users/lina-friebus/view/643/ (Russian site, hopefully legal)

Scene 1 (starting about 7:00 minutes, office scene)

Jen: I mean, I don't expect to be put on a pedal stool, but please... Show a little respect.

Roy: Oh, I'm sorry, you don't expect to be put on a what?

Jen: On a pedal stool.

Roy: A pedal stool. What's a pedal stool?

Jen: Oh you know, you put women on it when you admire them. You know, the phrase.

Roy: Oh yeah, no, the famous phrase: to be put on a pedal stool. PEDESTAL!

Jen: What?

Roy: PEDESTAL is the word! What's a pedal stool? Did you really think there was such a thing as a pedal stool?

Jen: Shut up, everyone has blind spots.

...

Roy: A pedal stool!

Scene 2 (starting about x 15:00 minutes, courtroom scene)

Roy: That's right, and furthermore, I would like to say at this point that I think this whole case to be a damp squid.

Lawyer: Thank you. No further questions.

Jen: Oooh, I have one more question, your honor.

Judge: Yes?

Jen: Eh, what did you say?

Roy: What?

Jen: What did you say the case was? May I have it read back please?

Court Reporter: "I believe this entire case to be a bit of a damp squid."

Jen: A damp squid? What does that mean?

Roy: Oh, oh Jen. It's um... It's an expression. Eh, it means that I, uh, believe, that everything that's been said in this case, everyone already knew.

Jen: Hmm, yes. But did you say "damp squid?"

Roy: That's right.

Jen: Did you not mean "damp squib?"

Roy: No it's squid. What's a squib?

Jen: It's not squid. Squids are already damp. 

Roy: Hence the phrase.

Jen: Your honor, please. 

Judge: It is squib. I must say, I find it extraordinary that you, a man in your early thirties, could have reached this point in your life without knowing that it is squib.

Roy: I think it's squid!

Jen: I have no further questions, your honor. 

Roy: Your honor, no, wait wait wait!

Jen: That will be all.

Roy: Everyone has their blind spots!

Jen: I said, THAT WILL BE ALL!

...

Jen: [closing arguments] Think of the simpleton who thought the phrase "damp squid" was correct.

What's this really called???? Does it have a name????

official music site update

About three years ago I started a redesign of my official music website, but basically abandoned it.

I got bored, so I completed it today.

Check it out if you want.

the music efesar: official site

If, for some strange reason, it looks like the old site, just SHIFT-reload.

Q10 as a typewriter replacement

I love typewriters. They give me the chance to not get on "fucking" Facebook for an hour. I can concentrate on what's in my head. But my typewriter collection is out of hand, so I think I'm switching to Q10.

Five Hundred Thousand Words

It's true that he can stare at her face and guess wrongly that she's angry, because that's the mask she wears to distance him. She's accustomed to that mask. She sculpted that mask so carefully with her own experiences. But if he knew how she really felt, he'd cry with her. She knows that humans are clunky, bio-chemical organisms and she commands five hundred thousand words in her language, yet her poet's laboring lifetime can barely string them together to simply communicate one hour's worth of real emotions to a few meager souls. So inside she laughs, cries, screams, elates, shivers -- but she can't find the time to write the poetry that would move his soul, and even if she did, he doesn't read poetry.

BTW Podcast - the new Btalk?

So it's rather difficult to subscribe to the the BTW Podcast (apparently, the new BTalk) in iTunes. It took me a while to figure it out.

BTW Podcast

So there's the link in case you're looking for it! Just click "subscribe in iTunes" and it should add it to your podcast list.

Stupidly cute kitten

Stupidly cute kitten.

Letter to Newsweek

Dear Newsweek editors,

I have many religious friends who accept me for who I am: Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Muslims and believers in Native American spiritual traditions (Navajo) alike.

I also have many friends who are part of these religions, most especially Catholics and Protestants. A large majority of their families accept them for who they are.

It is my personal opinion that a majority of the people in this country (and also the post-industrial world) don't believe that homosexuality is an abomination.

Recently, it was pointed out to me that you published an article (Gay Marriage: Our Mutual Joy) reflecting my opinion when it comes to religion and gayness (particularly gay marriage).

Thank you for that.

I also am aware that you received a bitter reaction to the article from (I assume) members of religious right. Understandably, such a reaction might seem scary to you, to your publishers, and to your corporate sponsors. However, I would like to remind you that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" and that such a bulk of mail from one group does not mean that group's views represent a belief per-capita. It just means they hate more effectively.

In fact, the opposite may be true since they have organized themselves against gays on behalf of their own agenda. Their hatred is neither random nor representative, but rather focused. The sun, when focused through a magnifying class, can certainly burn an ant. They want to burn us, Newsweek, and it is your job to stop their childish destruction. You've already spanked them for bad behavior. Now please ignore their temper tantrum and send them to their rooms without dinner.

P.S. -- I quote, "no sensible modern person wants marriage — theirs or anyone else's — to look in its particulars anything like what the Bible describes". I believe some on the religious right would like to have marriage according to the Bible (for instance, Mormons): polygamy, wife-selling, surrogates, slaves, servants and all. Keep that in mind when you rebuff their reactions.

-Me

Lazy Soap Day

So this morning I was too lazy to actually leave the shower, go to the cabinet and get a new bar of soap. Instead, I used an old bar of SafeGuard that mom had left behind. Normally, I'm very soap-conscious, but today I just felt lazy.

Well. That was a mistake.

When I got to my office this morning I took off my jacket. Much to my chagrin, I smell like a urinal cake.

Why, oh why, would anyone design soap that smells like urinal cake?

La-la-la

Okay, so Proposition 8 in California passed. Gay people are now constitutionally discriminated against. I never thought, of all places, California would be a hate state. Never. Arkansas, yes. Missouri, yes. Arizona, maybe. But California? Isn't that the gay state? I mean, I think it's their official state motto or something.

Anyway, I'm happy Obama got himself elected. Could you imagine Palin in office? Wow.

I'm also happy that my state went back to 100% liberal. All 5 of our national representatives (2 senators, 3 house members) are now Dems. Good for us. We're not as backward as people think!

Hmm. What else? I went to the podiatrist. He gave me a new foot wrap and some injected steroids. I have plantar fasciitis. Yay! Or, not really. It sucks and will take months to heal. I probably got it by walking around Las Vegas for 72 hours. Those freaking casinos are huge.

Anyway, what else? Not much of public interest. Semi-private thoughts are reserved for the Livejournal blog.

Early Voting at University of New Mexico (UNM)

We can vote early at UNM this year.